Sunday, June 11, 2006
Summer
It’s hot. My favorite weather. For me it’s the coldest summer ever! Everyone is going to the beach and enjoying the sun and I’m stuck here in the a/c with sandals and a sweater The office feels like Antartica, and I have a mild cold, which seems worse when I’m under the scorching sun. Even if it’s for about fifteen minutes a day.
The only thing that gets me through is the thought of picking Liam up and the anticipation of knowing that my family is coming to visit me soon. I hadn’t realized what a big part of me they are. Even if they’re nuts!
I miss them so much. They moved away in the worst moment of my life. I had just gotten separated, my sister and me were bonding then suddenly there was nothing. I don’t know if it’s fair to feel resentful of my mom for leaving. I can still remember the night they left, I hadn’t felt that lonely in a long time, I think I even sleepwalked! I felt like a little girl who’s left to the care of a stranger while her mom’s out. Only the stranger was myself and I didn’t know if I was going to be able to take care of this little girl on my own.
I’ve bee through so much, I’ve changed my appearance, my faith, my thoughts and they’re not here to see it. They’ll come to meet a stranger taking the place of their daughter / sister / granddaughter. And with all this resentment I know I’ll hug and kiss her like there’s no tomorrow and that will make my planet brighter.
At least until she goes away again.
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The only thing that gets me through is the thought of picking Liam up and the anticipation of knowing that my family is coming to visit me soon. I hadn’t realized what a big part of me they are. Even if they’re nuts!
I miss them so much. They moved away in the worst moment of my life. I had just gotten separated, my sister and me were bonding then suddenly there was nothing. I don’t know if it’s fair to feel resentful of my mom for leaving. I can still remember the night they left, I hadn’t felt that lonely in a long time, I think I even sleepwalked! I felt like a little girl who’s left to the care of a stranger while her mom’s out. Only the stranger was myself and I didn’t know if I was going to be able to take care of this little girl on my own.
I’ve bee through so much, I’ve changed my appearance, my faith, my thoughts and they’re not here to see it. They’ll come to meet a stranger taking the place of their daughter / sister / granddaughter. And with all this resentment I know I’ll hug and kiss her like there’s no tomorrow and that will make my planet brighter.
At least until she goes away again.
Post a Comment